spontaneous disintegration

28. 04. 19 (yes I wrote this a while ago, but it’s too beautiful to not share)

Tears are just a symptom
Of an inner agony
Of an emptiness that threatens to fill the days and spill over into the night
Of a vacuum that makes balloons explode and hearts collapse and talks in code
Of photons that transfer nothing and everything
There is so much light around me yet it feels like nothing matters and I am on an infinitely fast moving journey at a stagnant pace
Time doesn’t exist,
I only measure my life by the number of people that have thrown me to the curb trying to pretend they care

They see me a beggar on the streets, meant to pity from afar but not to love
Lest the act harm both the actor and the audience,
All the world is a stage
I stand a straying tree,
Blending into the background
Of monotony,
No character chooses to talk
To me,
No body really wants to get to
Know me,
No one to care or give or take from –
I am a constant and when you differentiate me you get nothing-
The lack of any change in my state vaporises my entire being spontaneously,
I decay
Exponentially, and though reduce fast,
Never quite disappear into the void of non existence,
I am forced to die on amongst the living.

28.04.18 (Edit: this didn’t upload until the morning of the 29th due to internet connection issues)

If you apply pressure to shear thickening Non-Newtonian fluids, their viscosity increases rapidly and approaches that of a solid state. If you sit on a suitcase, you can get the modern form of the clasp locker to clench it’s teeth all the way to the edge. If introduce crushed flowers into a solution of oxidane and heat the infusion to inhuman temperatures, you produce dyes that will permanently stain your wardrobe. If you stare at the sun too long, your eyes will start to correct for its preference towards wavelengths near 580 nanometers and upon diverting your gaze, a cobalt patch will imprint itself upon the upright image formed by your visual cortex;

locked in a customary state of existence,

I cannot remember the last time I emptied a jug of water and let it grow
(I understand we have wooden floors)
I cannot recall when last I tiptoed into the sea and let it carry me away
(I recognize the risks of clandestine currents)
I cannot fathom when ever I fell asleep to music drifting in and out of my veins
(I devour my time till I have none left to dream)

frozen yogurt caves

17.04.18 (short and kind of rushed – but for the sake of a poem a day, it’s up here)

when will peace come to greet me
like an old friend you sometimes reminisce over
on dusky Friday nights?

when will my eyes coalesce
into the dense dark
of nothingness?

when will the heat retreat 
into caves of frozen yogurt 
from down the street?

when will I finally feel free?